I can assure you with 100% certainty that my anaconda don't want none. Of any of that. God help me.
So at least this guy's bucks are mounted on the wall and not on his groin. I do appreciate that. And I assume he's wearing pants--because that just seems like good practice when there's a snake around--I can't tell because his shirt is too long, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. And, finally, taxidermy is expensive, so he must have a good job at...what...the herpetarium? Why, for the love of all things good and holy, is there a ginormous snake around his neck?? Is that how he caught and killed the deer? Send the python into the woods, let it constrict and kill its prey while you have a sandwich, and then you lop off the trophies for yourself? Dude, I'd be wary of that snake if you're taking away half of every meal. He's not just resting on your shoulders, he's calculating the force needed to crush you in your sleep.
Let's also talk about the composition of this photo. My mental checklist for a good profile picture includes a nice smile, flattering angle and a decent outfit...certainly not stuffed animal carcasses and a predatory reptile.
"So, that's a nice python you got there."
"I like to keep an apex predator around the house. Makes me feel safe."
"Really? I have a gun."
And I will blast six 9mm holes in that thing if it ever crosses my path.
In the meantime, I think I need to add a mongoose to my profile pic checklist and we'll just let Darwinism sort this one out.
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