50 shades of not my thing

Since we're on the topic of emails...

If Sean was a dog, I imagine that he'd be wagging and panting and peeing with glee.  I like a man to be excited about seeing me, but incontinence is freally a turnoff.  You pee on my Pergo, you're out.

I can just picture yippy little Sean on a leash.  I bet these guys would like that...

Funny you should ask.  Yes, I do have exceptional leadership skills and I am very confident when speaking my thoughts, but I have no interest in your red room of pain, even if I'm the one in charge.  Now, if you like the idea of me telling you to dust my baseboards and door frames, and to wash my kitchen floor because some dude peed on it, we can talk.  

You'd be surprised at the number of written profiles that include leather whips but absolutely no mention of Indiana Jones, collars but no dogs.  There are specific sites for that, people.  Let's not muddy the waters for those of us actually looking for something more substantial than an orgasm and some welts.  

I particularly like this profile excerpt from.

If correct spelling was a fetish, then I'd be its Christian Grey.  Oh yes, the profile:

Shut.  The.  Red.  Room.  Door.  You'll provide aftercare?  How kind of you.  I always like a tender touch when I'm cowering in the corner.  And you're spiritual?  Let's ask ourselves what Jesus would do.  He sure as heck wouldn't be doing that weird shit, I'll tell you that much.  Maybe you'd like to meet my man-dog, Sean.  He seems up for anything.  

There is a reason why vanilla is the most popular ice cream flavor in the world.  Freal.