Might I suggest some cumin instead? Get yourself a nice tagine and forget about an extra women. Woman.
The grammar and spelling errors presented here are about to trigger a seizure. I'd better sit down. And, for the record, I'm ok with tattoos...a full sleeve is cool, but our groom-to-be has a full turtleneck with thumb holes. This guy is a Highlights hidden picture page incarnate. Coupled with my adult-onset ADD, this would be a bad combination. I can just see me in a moment of intimacy: "Hey, I found the bell!" And then I would circle it with the Sharpie I keep by the bed.
But why stop at the knuckles, jaw line or waistband? Oh, hell, go for broke, dude. Unless you are broke. I'll assume you have exhausted your available funds on body adornment and as a result cannot afford a shirt. Or shorts with pockets. Get your damn hand off your groin and pull your pants up. Your dirty briefs are freaking me out more than your poor spelling.
And let's not forget the threesome. Gah. This comes up a lot in online profiles. As I've said before, there are specific sites for this kind of activity, so please don't jump in the pool during wannabe-couple-only swim.
This guy and his wife are another pair who should have their pool passes revoked:
You KNOW I had to look up "unicorn" on Urban Dictionary. I was honestly afraid of what I might find, but it's not that bad:
Well, it's bad in that they just want some gal for sex and household contributions with zero emotional involvement, but it's not as bad as the weird plushy/pony direction where my mind was initially headed. So basically you want Rosie from the Jetsons with a few extra attachments. Get a Roomba and go to town, chief.
As for the guy at the top, I still suggest cumin...although based on his spelling performance I imagine he'll interpret that as something entirely different.
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