Oh, thank goodness. I was growing so tired of the constant badgering from "offthecollarhedgefundmgr" and "emiratessheik71"...
Seriously, though, thanks for finding me on Zoosk, "longhairedredneck73," but I'm hoping that the noticeable absence of any profile photos of me with a freshly-killed turkey carcass, monster truck, or any small off-road vehicle being operated without a helmet has deterred you from taking the next step and sending a message.
But even Match.com with all of its sophisticated software doesn't pay attention to these things. How this man was selected as one of my "Daily Matches" is beyond me.
I'll write a comment on your photo: Consider posting a better photo. Or buy a shirt. Or perhaps cut down from a quarter-barrel to a six-pack per day. I know I'm no pixie myself, but I'm also not walking around in one of my Dad's undershirts and calling it acceptable day wear. Nor does my profile contain the keywords "COPS cameo" or "diabetes risk." This is a matchtastrophy.
And don't think you're innocent in this, Tinder. You've got your share of good ol' boys, too, like this one:
Enjoy it, shoot it, make a Marine question his decision to hand you that firearm. I've got a gun, too--I just don't bring it to family picnics.
'Merica...land of mullets and home of certainly not enough available 40-something hedge fund managers.
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