Friday, May 6, 2016

Naked truth

It's been a busy spring.  No, of course not with dating, just life.  I finally found time to watch Star Wars: The Force Awakens and was pleased to see that a new generation of young men has been introduced to an attractive woman wearing a mask and tubing (see my post from February 8).  Sweet.


In recent weeks I've added a couple additional accoutrements to my bedtime ensemble.  In addition to my CPAP I now also wear a carpal tunnel wrist splint and sometimes my plantar fasciitis compression sock.  It's hot.  (Really.  My wrist gets really sweaty.  Couple that with my regular hormonal night sweats and it's a regular steambath of potential passion in there.)  While some men might find this a turn-off, you and I both know that there are probably freaks out there with a corrective medical appliance fetish.

Speaking of weird guys, I did "meet" someone on Tinder this spring.  He was 43, works in IT, plays in a band...no last name sharing but I looked up his band and got it.  Then looked him up on LinkedIn and confirmed his employment story, but also discovered that he was actually 53.  Sure, I'm a stalker, but he's a liar.  Nonetheless we chatted for a day or two on Tinder and then he gave me his cell so we could text.  We texted for a couple days more and then he spontaneously told me that he likes to clean his house in the nude.  And his buddies do, too.  (They talk about this?)  Please tell me you're using the manufacturer-supplied wand for the Swiffer duster.  And you don't clean en masse...  And yet I continued chatting with him because there's weirder stuff out there.    

Like this pig-man:
 And Barney:

And real-life Sid from Toy Story (note the firecrackers):
But soon Mr. Clean mysteriously disappeared like they all do, which is fine.  I probably wear too much to bed--or watching TV, or frying bacon, or, you know, normal stuff that people do with clothes on--anyway. 

No comments:

Post a Comment