Wiener pics

Get your mind out of the gutter, people.  What did you think I was talking about?  Oooooh, you thought I meant actual penises.  Yes, penis photos and the Internet go together like bananas and peanut butter, hot dogs and ketchup, cucumber and dill...you get the idea.  And if you find yourself on an online dating site chances are good that one slipped through their filters for all the world to see.  But really, I don't need to see that on my phone.  Or on my work computer during lunch.  

I'm talking about family-friendly wiener pics.  As in wiener dogs.  The sheer number of profile photos featuring Dachshunds (and probably miniature pinschers because I can't tell the difference when they're laying down) amazes me.  Men are fascinated by their phallus, so why not have one as a pet?

These men have a lot of fun with their wieners.  They like to pet, scratch and play with them all day--they love getting them worked up.  Wieners love a good bone, and they're always excited when you come over.

Some men take their wieners very seriously.  They judge each other's on overall size, length and hair color.  The Dachshund Club of America lists breed standards that include being "long in body...with robust muscular development," "bold and confident head carriage," and skin that is "elastic and pliable without excessive wrinkling."  No one wants to see a wrinkled wiener.  

When not involved in wiener contests, some men like to snuggle with their wiener.  This guy likes wieners by his face.

A lot of men like to play with their wieners in bed.  And they usually want you to play with it too.  

Others prefer to play with them on the floor.  Ok...it's your carpet.

     

Some men like to dress them up.  I must admit that I like this one.  Call me kinky.

And some just like to show them off.  

But remember, if your wiener is on display for more than four hours, seek help.  It's a wiener, not a World Cup trophy.  Give that wiener a rest.