After a summer hiatus filled with the usual emails...
Again with the obeying and serving. Seriously, Mike, if you are really that into it, then let me once again reinforce exactly how much of a turn-on it would be to have a dude dusting my baseboards and deep cleaning my kitchen. You can wear whatever you want, as long as it gets done. And don't forget the ceiling fans. I'm short and I have vaulted ceilings, so it's a job even with an extendable Swiffer.
But WHY would you want me to throw food at you? Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a foodie, not whatever this fetish is. Food is for eating, for enjoying, for sustenance...not for throwing at a man in a tutu. That would just be mean. (And wasteful.)
And why, for the love of all things gastronomical, are you wearing a tutu with, I can only assume, nothing else? That's got to be itchy on your game pieces. And what possesses you to email this to a stranger? It scares me to think that there might be a woman out there who will actually respond, "OMG my last boyfriend insisted on a purple tutu but you have pink! You're the one!" At which point I will completely throw in the proverbial towel because there will obviously be a match for everyone except me.
Side note...as I type, this pops up from a 23-year-old guy:
Ok, I guess I won't completely give up, but I will maintain the requirement that my match isn't young enough to have come out of my own womb.
But back to tutu dude. He isn't the only guy letting his tulle flag fly. Exhibits A and B from Tinder:
Of course--because why wouldn't you do this?--the second guy has also Photoshopped a lightsaber into his pic. The Force is still strong with so many of these men...
Yes, yes, I did capitalize "Force." I'm not completely innocent in this. But I do only wear a tutu at Halloween. Over leggings, and with a shirt. That shit is itchy, especially if you're doing housework.
...autumn was ushered in by this one that arrived yesterday:
Actually, I'm beautiful, but whatever.
Part of me wanted to reply, saying "Tell me more [so I can post it on my blog]," but I didn't want to encourage him so I just read his profile instead:
But WHY would you want me to throw food at you? Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a foodie, not whatever this fetish is. Food is for eating, for enjoying, for sustenance...not for throwing at a man in a tutu. That would just be mean. (And wasteful.)
And why, for the love of all things gastronomical, are you wearing a tutu with, I can only assume, nothing else? That's got to be itchy on your game pieces. And what possesses you to email this to a stranger? It scares me to think that there might be a woman out there who will actually respond, "OMG my last boyfriend insisted on a purple tutu but you have pink! You're the one!" At which point I will completely throw in the proverbial towel because there will obviously be a match for everyone except me.
Side note...as I type, this pops up from a 23-year-old guy:
But back to tutu dude. He isn't the only guy letting his tulle flag fly. Exhibits A and B from Tinder:
Of course--because why wouldn't you do this?--the second guy has also Photoshopped a lightsaber into his pic. The Force is still strong with so many of these men...
Yes, yes, I did capitalize "Force." I'm not completely innocent in this. But I do only wear a tutu at Halloween. Over leggings, and with a shirt. That shit is itchy, especially if you're doing housework.
No comments:
Post a Comment