Here's a sampling of my inbox on OKCupid (click image to view larger):
Just once I'd like to get an email that starts out along the lines of "Hey, intelligent and multi-dimensional woman who seems like she would challenge me, how have you impacted the world today?"
Instead I get "Hi pretty." Like a million times.
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy being called pretty and beautiful by someone other than a family member or an old person at my church. I just wish it was by someone who could form a complete sentence.
Right. I didn't respond because I was out getting help. Did you know that there is such a thing as The National Grammar Hotline? I hope they've got extra staff on duty because, man, am I sending them a gigabyte of referrals.
Also notice that he has taken a page from Chris' playbook: if at first she doesn't reply, message, message again. Almost. Every. Damn. Day. (*Hypocritical use of incorrect capitalization and punctuation for emphasis only.)
At least Mike typed more than three words in the subsequent emails. That extra effort certainly does make a girl stop and consider that she just might be missing out on something really great...which may or may not include four children:
One would assume that he'd know for sure. Or the other kid sucks.
I also think I'm going to have to update my own profile to include punctuation as one of my six things.
And I may also add a "word of the day" feature in an effort to expand the vocabulary of potential suitors...such as:
syntax [sin-taks]
noun
A. the study of the rules for the formation of grammatical sentences in a language.
B. the study of the patterns of formation of sentences and phrases from words.
objectify [uh b-jek-tuh-fahy]
verb
to present as an object, especially of sight, touch, or other physical sense; make objective; externalize.
anchorite [ang-kuh-rahyt]
noun
a person who has retired to a solitary place for a life of religious seclusion.
And maybe some synonyms for "pretty."
